It’s OK, to not be OK.
We’re over a year into a global pandemic. To say we’ve all been through a lot, is an understatement.
Economically, Canadian women continue to bear heavy burdens: In Canada, more than 16,000 women have dropped out of the labour force completely, while the male labour force has grown by 91,000.
And this certainly isn’t just a Canadian problem; in the United States, 5.4 million women have lost their jobs since February of 2020, compared with 4.4 million men (Bureau of Labor Statistics) and non-work life offers little respite; research shows that women are facing more and different family pressures, feeling burnt-out and suffering the results of long-term exhaustion.
With this in mind, the team here at The51 are speaking out on an important, and consistently undervalued topic: self care. Read on for our personal tips and tricks, and know that no matter how you’re coping and whatever you’re feeling, know that you are not alone.
“A prolonged response to chronic emotional and interpersonal stressors on the job,” burnout is the sign of an exhausted mind and/or body, and may lead to an overall decline in health. Forbes says the top three ways to tell if you’re burnt out, are: exhaustion, lack of motivation and frustration and cynicism.
If you find yourself completely exhausted at the end of the day, fatigued even after 8+ hours of rest, or if you sleep an inordinate amount of time during the weekend just to feel “normal” again, you also may be suffering from burnout. Lastly, and trust me—we’re not judging here—but if you’re relying heavily on caffeine to get you through the day, your body is probably trying to tell you something. Think about what you are spending your energy & time on. Are you doing too much? Are you able to say “no”? Do you procrastinate? Do you spend time complaining rather than acting?
According to Marlynn Wei, M.D., J.D. from Psychology Today here are a couple things you can do to combat burnout:
Try to get more sleep.
Do cardiovascular exercise regularly.
Practice yoga.
Practice mindful breathing.
Try mindful walking.
We also asked our team on their best self care tips and these are the responses:
Shelley:
Three words: nature, sleep and family. I actually roll around on the forest floor… hug trees, dip into water, climb mountains, breath, jump on my bike… and end my day with podcast walks. Be outside first. Like Lisa, I am obsessed with my Orua ring and monitor my behaviour accordingly; then I am good to relish in all things family which fills me up. I spent time with my sons and now grandsons. Oh, and my puppy! She is good for my soul—a best friend.
Lisa:
One word: Sleep. It can be elusive at my “age and stage”, but I swear it is a weapon and so I am really trying hard to give it my focus. I wear an Oura ring which I find helps to give me an objective assessment. If my trends are too low - be that REM, Deep or total sleep, “readiness” (it’s a measurement in the app) or even HRV - I’m not ashamed of crushing a nap on the weekend. Most of the time I wake up feeling like a Disney Princess. Well, sorta.
Carina:
I feel like a fraud answering this question. Taking time for self-care is a weakness for me—I’m not proud of it. I am working hard to be more conscious of stepping away from my computer to be with my family and friends, or just do nothing. During COVID, I’ve found that colouring and doing puzzles has helped reduce my screen time and forced me to turn my brain off. I am a big fan of being outdoors and exploring with my husband and dog—I try to do this daily. Exercise is the other thing that I prioritize no matter what I have on my plate.
Heidi:
Self care has become a bit elusive for me during covid. Some days I have abundant energy to conquer the long list of to-dos. Other days, it can be hard to get started. I recommend daily exercise, outside if possible, as a good refresher and break from a screen. Connecting with friends and being honest about how you feel also helps. We are all in this together and no one should feel the pressure to pretend everything is fantastic when there is so much uncertainty in the world.
Jo-Ann:
Self care is something I’ve only recently given priority to, and now that I do, I am definitely seeing the positive impact it has on me both emotionally and physically. I love taking a walk around my neighbourhood, completing a “paint by numbers” canvas or just watching funny videos on social media to take my mind off the stresses of the day....now I just need to figure out how to stop going down the TikTok rabbit hole 😅
Courtney:
To anyone who legitimately has this figured out: Please share! Honestly, the definition of burnout hits pretty close to home, but I have developed some practices to manage as well as can be expected. First, I try to really reflect on the ‘why’ behind the work that I do. Even when it’s exhausting, I feel very privileged to work with such a fantastic organization and team. Secondly, I purchased an Apollo this year and have found it pretty effective for me (it’s like getting a meditation in while you’re doing other things). Finally, my husband and I dynamically manage the workload in our house depending on our schedules and commitments. Clear and frequent communication about what’s on our plates allows us to effectively support each other through these trying times!
Gurjit:
My favorite thing to do when I’m feeling overwhelmed is to take a walk around the city. This walk most often involves ice cream from Village Ice Cream and if it is snowing, like it does most of the year, I curl up in my room with a comforting book and a warm cup of cha. Hustle culture makes us all feel guilty about not being able to give 100% all the time but, I just try to remember that my worth is not equivalent to my productivity. Take time for yourself! :)
Monica:
Truthfully ...I am not the best person to ask! Especially since last March I’ve been going full-speed, and it’s definitely beginning to show. But, something I’m getting better at is being totally, unequivocally and shamelessly selfish about my time; if I’m “unavailable,” I’m unavailable. I could be sitting on my couch doing nothing, I could be watching a show I’ve watched 5 times already, I could be scrolling through idiotic memes or just staring at my cat. If an email or request comes through during my “nope” hours, I try really hard to ignore it. (And sometimes… I just do a wee bit of online shopping. ;)
Chelsea:
I’m a big fan of making sure I get enough sleep and regular exercise but I also LOVE taking a guilt free day to myself. My husband will take the kids out to do something fun and I soak up having a quiet house all to myself.
Do you have suggestions for The51 team? Leave them in the comments!
In addition to this blog, we have created a fun bingo set that is shareable on Instagram stories. Play, have fun and tag 3 friends.
If you’re a Financial Feminist member of The51, stay tuned for our event on resilience and self-care this Friday, May 7th at 12pm-1pm MT. Performance coach and author Christine Patton will be sharing strategies and tips on how to bolster your defences, look after your mental health and show up a little stronger, smarter and more prepared than you did the day before.
If you’re not yet a member but you’d like to attend (and we’d love it if you did!) You can become one for just $51 a year! Not only will you learn from Christine Patton this Friday, you’ll get lots of other perks like first access to financial feminist news, more free events and content, discounts on our merchandise, and lots lots more.
Thanks as always, Financial Feminist readers!
Until next time, take care. (We mean it!)